Wall Street Survivor

Friday, August 21, 2009

Chewing the Fat About Airplane Seats

I have some thoughts that I want to share on the following topic. Please feel free to make your comments. I’m interested in what you think. Maybe we can start a movement!

PLANE SEATING: I flew to Florida this past weekend and was unpleasantly reminded about why I don’t like flying that much. On the first leg of the trip, I was seating next to a large woman mummy-wrapped in a blanket so she looked like a gigantic, white grub. The seats dividing armrest was up since lowering it could have lopped off a sizeable chuck of her body, that which was puddled on my seat. I sat huddled on the aisle corner of my seat for the flight while she was all comfy.

On the second leg, I sat next to a large, young girl wearing short shorts which exposed lots of bare thigh. Her chubby arms puffed out of a short sleeved T-shirt. She looked like she just left the gym after her afternoon workout. She was in the window seat and I was on the aisle. Her body was turned in the seat with her left hip overlapping my seat because she couldn’t sit facing directly forward. Several times during the flight, her hip, bare thigh, or exposed arm was against me. Sorry, I like my personal space so after several illicit contacts, I lowered the armrest. It was a “drawing a line in the sand” kind of move. Keep your body parts on your own side. I had to restrain myself from regressing to my childhood auto backseat behavior and screaming, “She’s touching me! She’s touching me! Tell her to stop!” to the flight attendant.

The airline industry needs to replace those (many times) too small plane seats. Most of the jets flying are older and seat specifications when they are built aren’t suitable for today’s flyers. Obesity in our country is on the rise and has been for years. Unfortunately, the size of plane seats hasn’t kept pace with the increasing size of passengers’ butts. Those that have had their seat infringed upon have clambered that super-sized passengers should purchase two seats or fly first-class where the seats are wider. Both of those options are expensive and not popular choices. I have a better and less costly solution.

Congress should pass a Seat-use Reimbursement Law whereby the encroacher has to pay his seatmate for the portion of the cushion used. A "you splay, you pay" deal. For instance, all plane seat cushions would have ruler images printed on them. When the hefty sits, any flab or body part that rests on or hangs over the opposite seat will be measured using the ruler with the reimbursement amount increasing on a sliding scale. Your flab is occupying $50 worth of MY paid seat. Ante up. I suspect that a lot of jumbos will gather their saddlebags and corral them in their personal space rather than pay. If not, the squashed passenger will collect some bucks for his uncomfortable ride, at least.

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