Wall Street Survivor

Thursday, February 26, 2009

So This is Retirement....

I’m at the 62-year-old Pasco County Fair in Dade City sitting on metal bleachers with a huge funnel cake balanced on my lap waiting for the Robinson’s Racing Pigs show to begin. The wind blows the cake’s powdered sugar onto my navy shirt, Hubby’s right side, and the entire back (head to waist) of the man sitting in front of me. I imagine him stymied later as to how he got sugar-coated. Soon the likes of Hillary RodHAM Clinton and Al BOAR will speed around a wood-chip oval and swim a narrow trough for an Oreo cookie. The realization hits me like a lightening bolt. Not, “Life doesn’t get any better than this,” but “What the hell am I doing here?”

I’ve seen breeds of chickens and rabbits I never knew existed, but skipped the cow and pig barn. I’m a horse lover, but this fair has none. Unbelievable! I guess they’re in countryside stables waiting for the rodeo at the end of the week.

In my quest for finding interesting fair food, I discover the pot roast sundae, a bowl of mashed potatoes covered in pieces of roast, gravy, corn kernels, and topped with a cherry tomato. I don’t order one because I’ve had stomach problems since eating the chocolate-covered bacon at the state fair.

Next, it’s south to the Dunedin Arts and Crafts Festival. Most of the vendors I’ve seen before, but I bought two pendants. One is a buffalo head nickel with the metal cut away from the Indian head leaving the outside ring of the coin. A tiny feather is linked to the back of the Indian’s head.

The other pendant is a silver triangle with a red/black “stone” embedded in the middle made in Ireland. Actually, the stone is made from weeds. After the heather plant is no longer useful, the stems are collected, bundled, dyed, and compacted with 80 tons of pressure to form a hard material cut for jewelry. Leave it to the Irish to find a use for weeds.

We boarded the high speed shuttle vessel that took us to a floating casino 9.5 miles off the Port Richey shore. For a while, I played blackjack, my favorite card game and won $25. I don’t play big so I don’t win or lose big. I took that money and put it into a Pharaoh slot machine, also a favorite. I won $94 just before the return shuttle left so I hit land a winner. Hubby likes the floating casino because I HAVE to stop gambling at a certain time or miss the boat – literally.

We’ve finished our golf lessons and I’m not any better than before. However, now I know why I’ve hit a bad shot and can correct the mistake on the next one. They say it takes 6 weeks or so to improve after lessons. The timing dove-tails with the beginning of the PA golf season. I hope the money spent on lessons was a good investment.

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

Bodies, Bulls, Chocolate-covered Bacon & Kumquats

The comedian, W. C. Fields, referred to his lady friend as his “little kumquat.” I was fairly sure a kumquat wasn’t a girlfriend so we drove east to Dade City for the 12th Annual Kumquat Festival to confirm my thoughts. Actually, kumquats are golden orange, citrus fruits about the size of grape tomatoes, believed to be native to China. Their growing season is mid November to March, and the majority of these little gems in the U.S. come from the Dade City area. Kumquats can be sweet (meiwa) or tart (nagami) depending on variety. Since kumquats are eaten whole, peel and all, with seeds optional, make sure you’re popping a sweet one into your mouth. I saw lots of sour kumquat carnage in the dirt outside the tasting tent. The tart ones are the best, though, for cooking and baking. Usually the whole fruit is ground into puree used for jams, jellies, salsas, chutneys, and marmalades. I ate the frozen pie and the cookies. These babies can be candied or used as decorations, also. Logon to http://www.kumquatgrowers.com/ for recipes and to order products.

No kumquat festival would be complete without a Kumquat Queen, arts & crafts show, wagon rides, music, food, and an antique car & truck show. This quirky, free-admission event was advertised on Tampa’s Super Bowl website of things-to-do and drew an estimated 30-40,000 attendees. And in case you’re wondering, my little kumquat, I did buy things including a handmade silver bracelet.

After receiving my charge card statement, I thought it best that our next activity wasn’t one where I’d be inclined to buy something I saw. We headed to Dr. Gunther von Hagens’ Body Worlds & The Story of the Heart at the Museum of Science and Industry (MOSI) in Tampa. He is the inventor of “plastination” and creator of all the Body Worlds exhibits. Plastination is a polymer preservation process where bodily fluids and soluble fat are extracted from a donated body (or body parts) and replaced with resins and compounds like silicon rubber providing elasticity. Then the body is posed in the best anatomical position for viewing and teaching. In the last process, the specimen is cured with light, heat, or gases to make it rigid and permanent. It’s easy to see how jam packed are bodies are with bones, muscles, and organs, etc. that all seem to fit together like a jigsaw puzzle. von Hagens separates various body systems to display individually so the viewer can understand the whole as the sum of its parts. The plastinations of the circulatory and nervous systems were awesome in detail.

All the former bodies on display were of thin, well-toned people sporting visible six-pack abs (obvious sans skin). I secretly wondered what von Hagens would do with a fat body like mine. On a table on the outer edges of the exhibit, lay a large, one-inch thick slab with the appearance of whitish-colored marble. As I moved closer, I heard the museum employee say, “This obese person’s body was frozen solid and then it was sliced neck to feet to show all the fat that accumulates under the skin and in the cracks and crevices.” All-righty now, that answered my question! Skin wasn’t part of the exhibit anywhere, but that may change in time. One multi-tattooed and pierced, young lady has donated her body in hopes that her skin will be stretch-mounted in a large picture frame and viewed as art. www.bodyworlds.com

We explored the rest of the MOSI’s three display floors. It’s much like the Carnegie Science Center in Pittsburgh. I’ve been there so the MOSI didn’t capture my attention for the next three hours, but Hubby enjoyed himself. I was “scienced-out” long before he was ready to leave. I browsed the shops, but I didn’t buy anything. Honest.

One thing for sure about this area is that there is always something happening somewhere. Many times on the same day so we have had to choose our destinations wisely or double-up to save time and gas money. That’s what we did Friday when we spent the day at the Florida State Fair then drove 6 miles into Tampa for the Professional Bull Riders qualifier.

I can say that it was the first time I’ve ever been frisked and my purse searched before gaining admittance to a fairground. The need for such procedures was driven home when the man in line behind us tried to enter with a six-inch-blade knife in his pocket. Hubby saw the exchange while I was stuffing things back into my tiny purse. The teenagers in front of me got busted for concealing two cans of soda.

Passed the gate, we were funneled into the Expo Hall containing the vendor booths and lots of things to buy. I treated myself to an early Valentine’s Day gift of a silver pendant with a Larimar stone. I’ve wanted a piece of that rock since I first read about it two years ago.

I was on the lookout for some unusual fair cuisine I had read to expect. The Tornado Potato, deep-fried green beans, and deep-fried Pepsi didn’t turn my head because I was in search of chocolate-covered bacon. Hubby tried to discourage me from buying this expensive, heart-clogging snack, even threatened to call my doctor. The bacon is fried crisp and served in a plastic container like nachos but, with the reservoir full of chocolate. The combination is both sweet and salty like chocolate-covered peanuts. Hubby still makes gagging sounds when he remembers me eating it. www.floridastatefair.com

That night, the top 40 bull riders in the world were at the St. Pete Times Forum in Tampa to qualify for the Professional Bull Riders (PBR) Championship finals in Las Vegas later this year. I’ve seen bull riding on TV, but I had to lay eyes on the men that do this for a living. You’ve got to have a few spurs loose to climb on the back of a 1500+ pound beast with an attitude, tie yourself to it by one hand, and then try to stay alive for another 8 seconds while waving to the crowd with your free hand. And some of the bulls; Booger Butt, Super Beast, Alligator Chomp, and (my personal favorite) Chicken on a Chain, part-owned by the comedian known as Larry the Cable Guy. In my mind, I can see and hear him on a stage explaining how he named that bull. www.pbrnow.com

I often wonder how certain sports evolved because their descriptions sound so stupid. “O.K. strap these boards to your feet and hold on to this rope. I’m going to drive the boat 30 mph and pull you over the water. Trust me, it will be fun.” For the birth of bull riding, I imagine two cowboys standing at the bull pen posturing when one says, “I bet I can ride that big, ol’ bull one-handed.” I believe, without a doubt, that alcohol consumption played a major role in the beginnings of many sports.

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