So This is Retirement....

I’m at the 62-year-old Pasco County Fair in Dade City sitting on metal bleachers with a huge funnel cake balanced on my lap waiting for the Robinson’s Racing Pigs show to begin. The wind blows the cake’s powdered sugar onto my navy shirt, Hubby’s right side, and the entire back (head to waist) of the man sitting in front of me. I imagine him stymied later as to how he got sugar-coated. Soon the likes of Hillary RodHAM Clinton and Al BOAR will speed around a wood-chip oval and swim a narrow trough for an Oreo cookie. The realization hits me like a lightening bolt. Not, “Life doesn’t get any better than this,” but “What the hell am I doing here?”

I’ve seen breeds of chickens and rabbits I never knew existed, but skipped the cow and pig barn. I’m a horse lover, but this fair has none. Unbelievable! I guess they’re in countryside stables waiting for the rodeo at the end of the week.

In my quest for finding interesting fair food, I discover the pot roast sundae, a bowl of mashed potatoes covered in pieces of roast, gravy, corn kernels, and topped with a cherry tomato. I don’t order one because I’ve had stomach problems since eating the chocolate-covered bacon at the state fair.

Next, it’s south to the Dunedin Arts and Crafts Festival. Most of the vendors I’ve seen before, but I bought two pendants. One is a buffalo head nickel with the metal cut away from the Indian head leaving the outside ring of the coin. A tiny feather is linked to the back of the Indian’s head.

The other pendant is a silver triangle with a red/black “stone” embedded in the middle made in Ireland. Actually, the stone is made from weeds. After the heather plant is no longer useful, the stems are collected, bundled, dyed, and compacted with 80 tons of pressure to form a hard material cut for jewelry. Leave it to the Irish to find a use for weeds.

We boarded the high speed shuttle vessel that took us to a floating casino 9.5 miles off the Port Richey shore. For a while, I played blackjack, my favorite card game and won $25. I don’t play big so I don’t win or lose big. I took that money and put it into a Pharaoh slot machine, also a favorite. I won $94 just before the return shuttle left so I hit land a winner. Hubby likes the floating casino because I HAVE to stop gambling at a certain time or miss the boat – literally.

We’ve finished our golf lessons and I’m not any better than before. However, now I know why I’ve hit a bad shot and can correct the mistake on the next one. They say it takes 6 weeks or so to improve after lessons. The timing dove-tails with the beginning of the PA golf season. I hope the money spent on lessons was a good investment.